lauand (lauand) wrote,
lauand
lauand

So, I'm apparently regressing to the emotional maturity of a 12yo.

Which is unfortunate, but there's not much I can do about it. The thing is that, with the crumbling of all my social networks at the same time (aah, the joys of adult life!), I've been forced to make an effort to reach out to at least achieve a minimum of interaction with other human beings. Being the socially awkward and solitary person that I am, reaching out is not something I'm used to do, so I'm not particularly good at it and I'm most especially shit at dealing with a lack of response. And, lately, I'm getting a remarkable, outstanding, deafening lack of response. And the thing is, it wears me out. A lot. So I've decided to stop trying to reach out to people who don't answer back. Believe it or not, I put a lot of effort in crafting my comments. When I read something that engages me and sparks in me the will to give my opinion, I put the utmost care in phrasing my thoughts in a certain way, because that's the way I write, that's the way I express myself. And when nobody replies to that, I feel like nobody read it or, if they did, nobody cared. So it doesn't matter. So, what for. And that makes me feel awful because, apparently, I'm 12 years old again (oh, shit, I was so happy to have left that behind...!).

That means that I'm going to stop commenting on posts of people who haven't replied to my comments the last three times I tried to reach out to them. And I'm neither happy nor proud of this regression, but I need to stop feeling bitter about this and a Disney approach to things is not really cutting it anymore.

Also posted at http://lauand.dreamwidth.org/122487.html, if you'd rather read it there or want to enter a discussion with comment count unavailable comments.
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